


The Human Resources Disaster

by vesuviannights



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: GN Reader, Monsterfucking, Multi, Polyamory, Tentacle Porn, gender neutral reader, lemony tentacle shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:02:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21544213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vesuviannights/pseuds/vesuviannights
Summary: Valdemar has no interest in sex themselves, but they are always willing to help out a horny friend...or three.
Relationships: Julian/Apprentice/Lucio, Julian/Reader/Lucio, Lucio/Apprentice/Julian, Lucio/Reader/Julian
Comments: 1
Kudos: 121





	The Human Resources Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> First off, this is all in good humour. Second off, it was entirely inspired by [this piece of NSFW art](https://canistheapprentice.tumblr.com/post/188692728591/courtier-porn-imagine-it) by [@canistheapprentice](https://canistheapprentice.tumblr.com) on Tumblr. I saw it and could not get the image out of my mind of it being Lucio, Julian and MC riding Valdemar’s tentacles like kids at a carnival while Valdemar perused their medical journal like the bored carnie forced to supervise the ride.

Lucio hadn’t been able to stop blabbering on about it.

Bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Grinning like an evil maniac.

In the three days preceding your… _appointment_ , he had worked himself up enough to have to leave the room—or meeting or dinner or whatever event you were sitting through—and fuck his own hand at least six times.

Julian had been a little more apprehensive at first. He always boasted about _always_ being down for a new adventure, but the question of _who—or what—_ this adventure was with unsettled him. 

Or at least it had, until Lucio had made a rather convincing argument behind closed doors involving Julian being tied down and brought to orgasm after orgasm with some very specifically shaped objects.

And you? You were just curious, and whatever made your boys happy usually kept you the same.

“AH! AHHHHH, _AHHHH_!”

“OH MY LORD, _OH_ —”

“YESSSSSSSS YESYESYESRIGH _THERERIGHTTHERE_ —”

You’re surrounded by tentacles.

Long and slick, coiled around your body, snaking their way into every orifice possible, squeezing the places they cannot seep into. Your head is thrown back, and you haven’t stopped groaning and begging and letting your pleasure be heard in…well, you’ve definitely lost track of how long.

Julian is three feet away, pinned chest-first to the ground with his ankles spread and ass in the air. Cheekbones flushed, the tips of his ears a flaming red that disappears into his hair. Eyes crossed, drooling. One of the tentacles is making some obscene squelching noises as it fucks his asshole, and he whimpers and moans and begs as he tries to push his hips back for more, but the tentacles at his wrists hold him in place.

You can’t see Lucio amongst the mass of writhing extremities, but you can hear him moaning, a high-pitched noise that catches in his throat every few seconds, along with bratty taunts and filthy words that seem to be an attempt at making whatever it is the tentacles are doing to him harder, more painful—a punishment for being such a brat—but you know by the building pout in his voice it just isn’t working.

You feel another orgasm building, and with a grin (you had very quickly decided you were no longer just curious, but actually very into it) you writhe against the little suction cups attached to all of your most sensitive areas as another orgasm takes hold of you.

At your familiar sounds, you hear Julian and Lucio curse.

You’re winning, of course. A lofty 7 to Lucio and Julian’s measly 3 and 5, respectively.

“QUAESTOR!” Lucio snaps, his voice echoing through the dungeon. It’s barely out of his mouth before it’s cut off by one of his impatient moans. “I DEMAND YOU WORK HARDER! I will not lose a bet due to your incompetence!”

Julian’s whine suggests he feels much the same, but it’s dazed and low and you’re sure he forgot who he was and where he was the moment he stepped foot into the room and saw Quaestor Valdemar seated in the center, impossible piles of tentacles spread out and writhing on the floor around them as they perused their medical journal.

“QUAESTOR!” Lucio snaps again.

They don’t look up as they turn a page, voice low and disinterested. “Yes, Count?”

“HARDER!”

They make a noise, one that might suggest agreement, only it’s clear by the arch of their brow that they haven’t heard a word Lucio has said.

“Mmmmhmm,” they murmur. Another page is turned. “That’s nice.”

Lucio let’s put an impatient curse, the beginnings of trying to fire them most likely, but is quickly cut off by a strangled cry and keen—sounds of his own orgasm that you know very well.

A moment later, Julian falls too, whining quietly as he paws at the cold stone beneath him.

Valdemar flicks another page.

Your eyes finally catch sight of Lucio as a rather large tentacle moves out of your vision. He meets your gaze with a wicked grin before it drops, taking you over like a delicious prize as one of Valdemar’s tentacles slithers around your throat and slips in through your parted lips.

And with a muffled cry, and a devious wink, you come again.

_Eight._

Lucio at four.

Julian at six.

Who will make it to ten first?


End file.
